Celebrating Victories
Lessons from children and champions.
By Mario A. Mancini, O.M.D.

This month I am encouraging you to focus on success!

Success comes in all kinds of forms so it isn’t easy to define. The dictionary defines success as “the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.” I disagree! Success is in no way an ending (or termination of endeavors). Rather, it is a powerful motivator to fuel you toward your next success. A peak performer is always happy and grateful for the present, but never satisfied and so always expecting more. I always tell my patients to “demand more from yourself than anyone would ever expect.” And that is the message that I want to give in this month’s note.

So how do you know when you have achieved success? Let me use the analogy of a baby learning to walk. That first step – even if it’s just one followed by a fall – is cause for major celebration. By cheering them on a baby quickly learns not to focus on the fall but to focus on the steps (the success). When you focus on the small successes you are setting yourself up to win every time. Guess what that gives you… more fuel… more success… more fuel… more success. Once you get that cycle rolling you will feel unstoppable.

The other lesson I want you to take from this analogy is the idea that you MUST have a “GPS navigation mind set.” When you are truly focused on your outcome nothing can stand in your way. When you get off track, just take the next u-turn. A baby can fall a million times while learning to walk but we don’t let them give up. You need to be the same way with your goals. A way to make this easier is to tell someone what you are doing so they can help to cheer you on and hold you accountable when you feel like giving up.

Focus intently on your outcomes but allow yourself to celebrate the victories along the way. This is one method for developing what I call “mental toughness.” What does mental toughness mean? It means that under the pressure of competition (LIFE) you can continue to think constructively, non-defensively, positively and realistically.

One way to achieve this place of calm and clarity is to change your thinking to change the way you feel. The connection between thought and emotions works both ways: the way you’re feeling affects the way you’re thinking; the way you’re thinking affects the way you’re feeling. The important element here is that you can exercise substantial control over the direction and content of your thoughts. That’s precisely why great competitors are always disciplined thinkers. Sloppy, careless, negative thinking completely undermines your true innate power as a human being. Take full responsibility for what and how you think.

Toughness doesn’t always mean outward aggressive energy, but rather the ability to be flexible. A flexible bamboo tree is tougher in my eyes than is an oak tree due to its inflexibility. Toughness means never giving up. No matter how bad it gets, no matter how deep your pain, persistence, faith in yourself, and an undoubting spirit is what being tough is all about. We all have this innate spirit of toughness within us. We just need to trust.

Like anything else in life, being mentally “tough” takes practice. So start by practicing being present. One of the greatest secrets of peak performance in sports and life: sustaining a here-and-now mental focus during any life challenges makes the natural expression of talent and skill far easier. A present centered focus, particularly during critical moments in life, is fundamental to performing well under pressure. During a challenge, thinking about the future lets fear beat you; thinking about the past lets anger and frustration beat you. Practice maintaining a moment-by-moment focus during these tough times and you will be amazed how tough you really are!

And now for the homework… you know I never let you off that easy.

Step One: CELEBRATE – reflect on your successes and allow yourself to really glow in the satisfaction of your “win” no matter how small you may think it is in the bigger picture of your goal. Write it down!

Step Two: SHOW OFF – share your success stories with those around you that you want to continue to motivate you and hold you accountable. Read them your story. Again, write it down!

Step Three: START CHEERING – help your friends, family the other people around you to celebrate too. Give them a copy of your written success “story” as a reference to inspire them never to quit.

These may seem like silly things to do but DO THEM. I promise you that it will re-fuel that fire to keep you on track and propel you forward toward more… guess what… SUCCESS!

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THE LAW OF GIVING & THE LAW OF ATTRACTION can be controlled by your brain. Yes! There is a physiological part to why you get more of what you give out and more of what you focus on intently.

It's called your Reticular Activating System, and it is one of two parts of the reticular formation in the brain-stem that maintains an alert state in the cerebral cortex. The reticular activating system filters out repetitive stimuli, preventing sensory overload.

In other words, your brain will focus on whatever is most important to your life. If you train your brain to focus on what you want, you will be more aware and alert to opportunities that will get you closer to your goals.

TRAIN YOUR BRAIN! This is why I suggest writing things down and telling other people. The more "real" you make your success the more your brain will focus on those positive outcomes.

Try it! Ask us about our special program to help you to Share Your Success.